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Are you the type of person who will run yourself ragged to finish something you promised to someone else, but you frequently bail on the commitments you make to yourself?
I can list out all these stories you might be telling yourself because I’ve thought all of them…..MANY times.
I’m not proud of this track record. It’s embarrassing.
But, I share it with you because I hear from so many friends and clients that they’re struggling with the same thing.
I beat myself up over it, and so many I talk to beat themselves up for it.
If we’re so embarrassed and frustrated with ourselves, whey do we struggle to follow through on self-commitments.
Isn’t it easier to just do the thing than to feel the pain of not doing it?
Crazy enough, the answer is, NO it’s not easier to just do the thing.
If it was, we would already be doing it.
Here are some of the common reasons we don’t follow through:
So, this is super normal.
The question is, what do we do about it?
If you want to follow through on your self commitments (like almost all of us do), here’s the three step process I learned from my coach last year.
I hope it will help you too.
The first step to follow through on self-commitments is to start with a compelling reason.
Really look at the reason you want to do something and ask yourself, does this excite or motivate me? Honestly, oftentimes a reason may seem compelling but it really doesn’t inspire action. For example:
If the answer is no, than work to find a new compelling reason, one that inspires feelings of immediate action like committed, motivated, and excited. Here are a few that have worked for me and/or for my clients:
Hopefully these examples give you some inspiration.
Take a moment to write out your compelling reason to follow through your new goal or habit. This compelling reason will help you follow through on your self commitments.
The second step to build consistency, and to follow through on your self-commitments is to find your “no matter what” factor.
In this step, you create some internal rules for yourself. Some examples would be:
We can give ourselves these rules as a bare minimum we will accept from ourselves.
For example, most of us would never just skip a meeting with our CEO. We have a rule (usually unspoken and ingrained) that we would never miss a meeting with our CEO, no matter what. We would hire a babysitter to watch our sick kids, we would delay going home at the normal time to wait, we would do whatever we needed to make that meeting happen.
But, we often don’t treat ourselves the same way.
We tell ourselves stories that let us off the hook.
Now, don’t get me wrong. These reasons CAN BE legitimate. But that’s the exception and not the rule.
Most of the time we decide on a reason not to follow through because it’s safer.
So, the question on step 2 is – what “no mater what” rules do you agree to abide by, to follow through on your self-commitments?
So, now that you have your structure – the compelling reason and the “no matter what” rules, the last step is to follow through.
This is funny right.
You might think, it’s not that easy….”I have a history where I don’t follow through on self-commitments.”
I’m here to tell you that it isn’t easy but it’s worth it.
As a recap, we discussed
I’m a success coach for corporate moms.
If you’re reading this, my bet is that you’re an ambitious mom who wants all she can out of life, for herself and for her family.
But, like so many other moms, you might be feeling
I can relate. I used to be all of these things (and more). But, then I found a coach who helped me get exactly what I wanted
I help other ambitious moms do the same thing.
I work with other ambitious moms like you to create and execute the mindset, strategies and routines that are required get out of survival mode and achieve your goals, both personally and professionally.
Think of it as a re-set for ambitious moms, like you, who want to maximize what you do, who you are, and all you impact, to make the most out of your life. Do you want to:
The first step is a complimentary Strategy Session where we talk about your goals, your obstacles and create a mini action plan for you.
Click this link to schedule your free Strategy Session.
This is time focused on you and your goals, and how to get to the next level.
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